Wednesday, March 3, 2010

When Vintage Is Just Terribly, Terribly.....Wrong.

Preface: You probably know, or have heard rumors, about "Bridezillas", women who seem to loose all logical, reasonable sense of thought when they're planning their wedding. This is fairly common.

And if you saw that great movie "27 Dresses", or if you have been a bridesmaid in a wedding, or if you have watched reality TV shows about weddings, you know that, for many women, wedding planning does something to their sense of style. Bridesmaids are often subjected to the most hideous fashions ever designed for the female form.

I have been a bridesmaid twice; and each time the gowns were.......tolerable. (Sorry, S&L!) They were great except for the fact that they were made of heavy satin, and in one case, two dresses in one involving heavy satin. This would be all together excellent, except for the fact that both of these BFFs of mine got married outdoors. In June.
When I got married, in the afternoon, I went with light, semi-formal, linen and cotton, tea length outfits for my girls for our mid April, outdoor wedding. They were ( I think) pretty happy with the choice.

But layers of satin in the middle of June has nothing on these poor ladies in the following images that I gleaned off the Internet while researching some new dresses coming soon to my shop.

And I hope to heck that no one reading this is related to any of the people in these photos.

"Modern" fashions (Beginning in the 20's) were pretty tame, and cute, and stylish, and flattering (for the most part) until things stared going south in the late 60's. (IMHO.) Things seemed to get pretty bad for bridesmaids, especially, in the 70's.


Look at these poor children. I'll bet that poor little boy was scarred for life after having to wear that shirt and short britches. And whose idea was it to wear those... those things in the bridesmaid's hairdos? And what was the deal with the ruffly aprons? Whoa.....

Now this one is not too awful bad. I love the daffodil field they're in. And the girl on the left in the green gown, she has some great hair! But for some reason, to me, those bright, all white suits on the gentlemen just look - out of place. I do not know if I like all white suits on gentlemen.

And then we have this. What in the world?
I know money was tight in the 70's, but who had the brilliant idea to cut up the draperies and the sofa cushions for recycling into bridesmaids dresses? Where was the wedding planner during all of this?

Here we have more of a recycling showcase. This bride decided to re fashion the church's cast off choir robes for her bridesmaids.

Now we are moving in to the late 70's into the early Eighties. This bride must not have been able to settle on her color scheme; and then her florist completely ran out of good ideas.

This bride's theme seems to have been "rainbows". Holy Cow.

And the Gold goes to.........

....This bride! No wonder they blurred out these girl's faces. I'm sure they're still trying to forget.

Well, I hope I have not disturbed too many of you readers. I know I needed the good laughs I got - well, actually, the hearty guffaws - from going through some of these images.

And don't worry! None of the new dresses for my shop look like these. I think if I ever found dresses like these in my buying of vintage items, I would do the world a favor and bury them in my backyard. Some things just need to be laid to rest; including some vintage fashions.


Catherine said...

Lol! I have to say, the second photo is absolutely hideous! Those poor bridesmaids!!!

Prairie Princess said...

LOL If you ever see anything this crazy pop up on my wedding planning me a favor and tell me I'm off my rocker. Or perhaps you're hinting at me. LOL Ahh...but ya know, money IS tight...I have some splendid curtains I'm not using. Muahahaaa...

Hosanna said...

LOL Jodi! No, everything I have seen on your wedding planning blog has been in excellent taste! No worries!

Susannah Forshey said...

Lordy. You don't have to remind me, Hos.....there was SO much WRONG and DEPRESSING about my wedding, the dresses were only the fringe of it all. :(

Hosanna said...

What, Sus? I thought your wedding was super groovy! The dresses were fine - except for that they were so uncomfortable to wear outdoors in summer time! The color was to die for.

Herb of Grace said...

When I saw the pic with the hats, I was just WAITING for you to say something snarky about the hats :) but you didn't *sigh* so I lost my chance to tease you....

OMG!! The gold, the gold!!

*pokes eyes out with fork*

Accompanied said...

I think brides do lose their minds a little bit when planning the wedding! A few of my friends have totally excelled at it, but most of us would definitely change some things given the opportunity! :) I had my bridesmaids all pick out their own dresses in apple red from a large chain vendor (only 2 of 5 lived in the same country as I did and that country was Germany)... but I would totally go with black cocktail dresses if I could make that decision over! Who cares if they match? I'd much rather my friends enjoy the wedding and feel pretty than create a uniform wedding picture for a book I'll put on a shelf... :) If only I could have told that to my engaged self!

Hosanna said...

Lis: which hats? I am confused. And why would you tease me about hats...? I am totally confused.

kim* said...

wow now days i see awesome brides maids dresses

Matt and Laurie Beardsley said...

LOL, Awwww, S & L, you got CALLED OUT for those dresses!!

Sus, I loved the dress style, I was even ok with the fabric, it was the COAT on top of it, that was tough.

Ok, Hosanna, I want to see your dresses now! Wedding pictures please!