Friday, October 16, 2009
Being in His Perfect Will - and Friday Blahs.
Here are some pics from the summer I don't think I posted before. They are some of my favorite shots from the entire summer.
I am pounding this out as I get ready to leave to take my "charge" back home for the weekend ( I care for her in my home during the day.)and get my horse chores done. There is a fire in the stove and it is all toasty and warm and I don't want to leave.
I have a tension headache, am craving bread and sweets (a bad sign) and generally grumpy. It has just been one of those weeks. I need a long ride on one of my horses; a hot soak, a good pasta meal, some chocolate cake, and a long movie. Then I need to sleep in in the morning - oh wait. I am working in the Antique store tomorrow... forget sleeping in. :(
Occasionally, I start to worry, and wonder, and ask myself - is what I am doing pleasing to the Lord? Is this what His will is for me to be doing right now? I wonder and worry, because it is my heart's desire to be doing what He would have me do, and not blindly go in the opposite direction, outside His will.
It is also my heart's desire to bring Glory to Him through everything I do. So yesterday I was driving out to the Averett University horse barn for a meeting, and I got antsy. I shut off the radio and drove in silence for a while, and then wondered out loud:
"How can I bring Glory to You by selling old clothes on line? Or, by riding horses, for that matter?"
"Is this really what You would have me do?"
"Am I all wrong; should I be doing something different?"
"Do I need to lay something on the altar?"
I don't know. Maybe it is the time of year, but I have just been agitated, antsy, restless, overwhelmed, and ill at ease. Maybe it's fear. Maybe it's insecurity from Kevin not having work and wondering about what we're going to do about so-and-so bill or whatever.
Headaches, irritability, doubts. I guess I just need to do more soul searching, praying, and getting quiet before Him.
So, lists help me out a lot. So even though I feel like I have done nothing all week, maybe I have anyway. Let's see, I .....
1. Posted some more stuff on Etsy.
2. Got to visit with my Gramma.
3. Got to see my Mom for a little while
4. Found the missing AQHA papers for my sister's horse so she can try to sell him
5. Got a bite on my ad for our OTTTB mare Jazz
6. Did laundry
7. Made it to the 4-H meeting at Averett
8. Posted some things on my new page at the Vintage Village
9. Dug out all my winter clothes and put away all the Summer clothes
10.Started on some of my sewing projects that have been sitting around.
And one more thing: I am bound and determined that this winter I am going to unlock the secret of dressing classy even in freezing weather. I begin every day in frumpy chore clothes; as my first order of business each and every day is feeding and blanketing/unblanketing or turning out/bringing in horses; mucking out; handling hay bales; and other dirty outdoor farm chores. By Mid morning I am a muddy, freezing mess in ragged jeans and Kevin's over sized sweatshirts; heavy boots and my Aussie Oilskin chore coat. VERY unflattering. I hate to admit it, but it is so true.
Most of the time I stay dressed like so, as I have to do it all again every afternoon; plus additional horses and goats for a friend. Most of the time I feel disheveled and unfit to be seen by anyone; and it has an effect on my outlook and mood.
So I decided I may just need to start changing my clothes and wearing cleaner nice jeans and my cute sweaters and tops in between chores.
Yeah, I'll have to change clothes several times a day but it beats being Queen Frumpy-horse-chore-clothes all winter long.
Ok. I have to go. I think I am done blabbering on this dreary Friday afternoon. Got to run and muck out stalls and feed my babies, and then I will see about that hot soak.
If nothing crazy happens between now and then........